Promotion for who?

Much of what we do is about self-promotion.  We want to make sure we get credit for what we do.  If you are a creative type and want your work to get noticed than it is understood you will have to promote and sell yourself to gain attention.   A couple of friends of mine who are in the midst of publishing books have had to create a platform, gain followers and continually promote their writing as part of the publishing process.  Some have even gone as far as publishing e-books (of which I am not a fan) to give their audience a taste of what is to come.

We have this underlying current in our culture that we have to look out for number one.  We want recognition and accolades to prove our worth.  The more plaques, certificates and letters at the end of our name, somehow equates to us being someone of importance. We even have apparel and other items that display to others just how awesome we truly are.

Even as members of the body of Christ despite being set apart from the rest of the world we choose to promote the things we do.  The services we are having, outreach projects, those serving in other countries, if you read in bulletins or look at billboards and websites you can find any of this information.  I see people posting pictures and sending out Tweets with picture attachments sharing what they have done.  In some ways it seems as though we are patting ourselves on the back for those the ways we reach out and give to those in our community.

I have been reading through the book of Matthew and as I read the words of Jesus in Chapter 6: 1-4 - it clearly warns us about doing things of this nature. “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

I struggle with this myself.  As someone who has a great love for photography, I record much of life behind the lens of a camera and post it to a variety of places.  Included in my picture-taking have included pictures taken while doing outreach events or other activities for the community I live in.  My intent was not to boast or brag, rather share and provide others who were part of those events to see what was accomplished.

This passage has challenged my thinking around what I do.  In regards to caring for others – be it the marginalized, outcast, downtrodden or my neighbor.  They aren’t projects, they are people and I am called to love them.  I am called to provide what I can, I have the means and I am more than happy to share the abundance Jesus has blessed me with.  My neighbors are real people and deserve to be treated just like I would treat my family, with love, not out of my attempt to gain recognition because I am doing something great.

Not clicking with cliques

Small town have a way of teaching you lessons you might not expect.  Wealth assures you a sense of power and position.  Having the right look, athletic abilities and intelligence assure you will have a place of importance and that you are to be praised above everyone else.  Depending on the church denomination you affiliate with, determines your inclusivity in community events.

Lessons experienced while growing up taught me who and what has value in this world.  To be part of anything that really mattered means you often times have to sell out.  You let go of those things you hold firm to and end up becoming something you are not.  When you are the one standing on the outside of the circle you often begin to believe you have no worth or value because you have nothing valid to offer others.   I once was foolish to believe if I left behind the small town I came from those things would fade just like the pictures in my rear-view mirror as I drove away.

My wife and I come from different walks of life, yet have extensive experiences of wanting to fit in, but always missing the mark.  In-crowds, cliques and exclusivity were all terms we had a strong dislike for. Having had countless experiences we agreed it was something we were not going to allow be part of our vocabulary let alone how we lived.  We saw no place for it and felt that everyone deserves to be included.

Some time ago a family began attending the church we were. We enjoyed the family and began building an enjoyable relationship with them.  Soon the husband stepped into a leadership role that was a good fit given his skills, background and educational experience.  We were excited as he took on the role.  Taking on the role gave them the opportunity to move rather than commute.  He moved his family into an area of the city where other pastors and leaders from our church lived. It was at this point where we began to experience and feel the grasp of exclusivity take hold.  No sooner had they moved when our relationship with them began to end.  It became clear we were not part of this crowd and would no longer be a part of their world.

If you look around you find it within music, sports and art as well as fashion, science and technology.  Even here where I chose to express myself the social media and blogging community is no different.   I have watched as people become the “ONE”.  Praises ring forth from the rest of the community, reminding everyone how amazingly gifted and talented the “ONE” truly is.  What they write, post and Tweet are life changing, they are going places and they will make a name for themselves.  I actually had a taste of it myself when I first began, I was that person and it was intoxicating, for once I was on the other side of the line and I let it taint me.  I quickly forgot the part of it I hated.  I allowed it to define me until the truth slapped me in the face and I awoke and saw the carnage left behind. So I quit, shut it down and removed myself from it.

If you have spent your life standing on the outside looking in, it can drive you crazy.  You believe you have no place to belong, nothing to offer, your value and worth are a big fat 0. Truth be told, that is absolutely a lie. My worth is never going to measure up in someone else’s eyes.  What I say, do or think will not win the approval of others.  I will not matter too many.  I will never be part of the in crowd.   I may not have thousands of fans, friends or followers, or fit in with your clique(s) and I am ok with that.  I’ve seen both sides and I prefer to be on the outside, if all else fails I know who has my back.

We are all different.  We were designed by a God who knew what he was doing.  He took time, thought and energy to uniquely shape us.  The gifts and talents I hold within me are different from yours and yet when we come together and utilize our gifts something beautiful happens.  Just as in a mosaic – a bunch of broken pieces put together to create a thing of beauty, the same is for all of us.  You belong because God created you.  I work each day to not practice exclusivity.  You are welcome, my arms open wide and my table will always have a place set for you.

Revisiting forgiveness

Jesus tells us that unless we forgive we cannot be forgiven (Matthew 6:15).  When I think of forgiveness these other passages of scripture come to mind:

Ephesians 4:31 -32 - Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.  Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Colossians 3:12-14 -  Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

I believe when we do not choose to forgive it hinders us.  We easily become bitter, spiteful and cross over into hatred.  Not letting go of those things in turn keeps us locked in those places and not being able to move forward.

I spent my childhood being rejected, discounted and physically and sexually abused and through a process learning to let it go.

I have had family members who have hurt me with some of the deepest and most painful hurts I have ever experienced and I have made the choice to forgive them.

I have experienced friends bailing on me and despite their words of being there whenever, chose to walk away and eventually I have forgiven them.

I have stood and watched as members of church I have attended have slandered me publicly.  I have seen the evil side of people in church that does not show the Jesus I love.  Their actions towards me have nothing to do with what Jesus speaks of and over time, I forgive them.

I grew up and was raised with the concept of getting even.  Always assume the worst in others.  Never give others the benefit of the doubt because they are always looking to screw you over.  Therefore, as an adult and having to sort through that, I have learned to judge others actions and motive, be suspicious and feel as though no one was ever looking out for me or was walling to give me the credit I deserved.

I had people who I have invested so much of my time and energy into not give it back to me and after a while I get tired of it.  It got to the point for me where if you could not bother to reciprocate what I needed and could not invest in the same way I was.  I was done with you and I wrote you off.  You were as good as dead to me.  It has been through the prompting of God where I have gone back and attempted to reconcile those relationships, but the damage I caused was done and the relationships are never the same afterwards.

I have always believed if you lived, a life outside of being a follower of Jesus there was no way you would go to heaven.  Yet I have been challenged in so many ways be how I live my life and the people I connect with.  I see Jesus lived out more in gay and lesbians, non-believers, scientists, denominations such as Mormons, Muslims, and Buddhists who live out much of what Jesus talked about.  So often, I see Christians saying they do these things but greatly failing in comparison.  Yet because they do not believe the same way I do I discredit them.

Recently I came to the realization I was still holding on to much of those old ways of thinking and beliefs despite feeling as if I had come so far.  I begin pondering my belief system and realized how much I hold anger in my heart towards Christians.  Pastors and other church leaders who I see as failing to really speak and live the truth of Jesus.  I see my jadedness towards other believers in wanting to look good and be known and not really living out what they say.  It angers me to watch people get noticed and praised for all the great things they do say or write and yet I look at it and believe they are full of themselves.  Much of the hurt and pain I have experienced through church has a lot to do with my bitterness and anger and I need to let it go.

One day we will all stand before God.  He will be the one we are all accountable to.  He knows our heart and where our motives come from.  He is the one who will judge us all.  I have no room to judge others.  The stones in my life are more like boulders.  It is hard enough for me to live out Jesus day-to-day.  Despite the hurts and pains caused by others in the body that I love so dearly, it is I who needs to revisit forgiveness both for those who are a part of the body and those who are outside of it.  I do not know any of their hearts; I have not sat down and had deep conversations with them.  I do not have deep intimate relationships with them so for me to make assumptions about them is ridiculous.  What I can do, is strive more to live out Jesus, pray for others, assume the best, build relationships where I can and speak of the love God has for all of us.  Forgiveness is tough, many times I have been back to visit it and I know there will be times sooner than I wish where I will be back to visit it again.

 

Who is @theoldhen

I am finishing up this series I started almost a year ago on finding out more about fellow Twitter peers.  I still have a few more to go.  Today you are going to get to know Deanna  Morauski.

I was fortunate enough to meet Deanna when the #WCN (West Coast Ninjas) has their first meet up. Thanks to Cindy Holman (@musicwithcindy) we were able to meet and find out exactly how skilled she was in the kitchen.  Her mouth-watering delicious goodness made it impossible to not go back for more.  She is funny, engaging and has a multitude of stories to share from her life and experiences owning a Bed and Breakfast.  Her B&B is located near Seattle tucked back in the mountains and is a perfect get away to which she graciously invited myself and the other WCN’s to a wonderful afternoon of excellent food and conversation.

Tell me a bit about where you grew up, what was your family of origin like?

I grew up in Snohomish county in Washington. I pretty much grew up in the back of a bakery – taking naps on the back shelves and then working in one as a teenager. I attended many church potlucks and have always loved the fellowship that comes with celebrations.

What is unique about how you, your husband and two children live?

Our family runs an award-winning bed & breakfast in Snoqualmie Valley, Washington. We get to meet amazing people from all over the world. We’ve taught friends from Scotland how to make s’mores, giggled with Germans while they argued whether “300 sheeps” or “300 sheep” was the correct term and have even entertained a movie star. We just never know what new adventures are coming our way.

How long have you and your husband been married?

Had John & I met in 1985, we would have passed one another on the street – me with my Dorothy Hamill haircut and he with his Bon Jovi hairstyle. Thankfully we met a few years later than that, when we had a lot in common, and married in 1992. We just celebrated our 20th anniversary.

What is the one thing you love most about John?

I love John more than strawberry waffles. I love his heart for helping people break free from unhealthy thought patterns and encouraging them toward fresh starts in life. We have a counseling center in the Seattle area as well.

What would John say is the thing they love most about you?

I’m guessing he might say he loves my sense of humor. Laughing gets us through many a rough day.

What has been the key/success to your marriage?

We lost the keys to a successful marriage a long time ago. I’d have to say humility is one of the most important things for us because we are both strong-willed first-borns. I told John sometime around our 15th anniversary while in tears that I had realized that I just wasn’t any good at this marriage thing. Thus began another fresh start. Turns out, being able to admit you’re not good at something helps you open up to more learning.

My favorite moments are those unplanned talks when our teenagers hop up on the kitchen counters and share about their days, my memories of when they were little and dreaming about their futures. They impress me constantly with their wit and depth. See what I just did there?

How has John made you a better person?

John has made me braver. He is good at being willing to take risks and I wouldn’t be who I am today if that hadn’t rubbed off on me.

Since you are currently running the B&B – The Old Hen Bed & Breakfast and have a foodie blog, what are some other jobs you’ve had?

Let’s see… bakery clerk, banker, counselor, and candlestick maker. Well, okay, maybe not the candlestick maker.

What was your very first job?

I graduated from sleeping on the bakery shelves to being one of the bakery clerks. Best. Job. Ever. Free fresh, hot doughnuts – need I say more?

What lessons did you learn from it?

Be kind, be honest and you don’t need to eat a doughnut every day just because it’s free.

Of all the jobs you’ve had, which job have you enjoyed the most.

My current job is my fav because it’s a mix of every other job I’ve ever had.

What do you do to relax?

What’s that?

What hobbies/interests do you enjoy?

I love scrapbooking, reading, writing crazy Facebook statuses, laughing with friends until I can’t breathe, taking pretty hikes, cooking & baking and taking long walks on the beach at sunset.

What music currently makes up the soundtrack to your life?

My song list is a hot mess of Martina McBride, KISS, Bruno Mars, Chris Tomlin, Katy Perry, The Gaithers and Never Shout Never. I am a confused soul, really.

What books occupy your nightstand?

Anything non-fiction that interests me like books about self-help, cooking and humor.

How are you involved in your community? 

I have about 34 cans of chili beans and tomatoes on my kitchen counter right now for the chili cook-off this weekend. There’s always something happening in our area. I especially love to support small, local businesses. Once you open a small business of your own, you realize how important supporting one another is. Chili is also important.

What are you most passionate about?

I’m pretty nuts over seeing others get what they need in life. Maybe it’s a fresh start, a new outlook, a caring touch from another person, forgiveness, etc. The list of things that make me teary-eyed is long.

What words would define you as a person?

Loving, strong, silly, creative, driven and short.

Why did you get into blogging?  

I read somewhere that it was the thing to do if you owned a small business. Turns out it was good advice but even better than that, it was fun.

What is the response from folks when you share with them you are a blogger?

They usually ask me for a business card because they want the recipe for what I fed them.

When it comes to social media, what is your purpose for using it?

Not only was it a good idea to have a blog for our business, it gave my creativity a landing place. I get grumpy when I don’t have an outlet for my crazy ideas.

What are the positives and negatives you have found using it? 

The positives are all the things I have learned while on the journey. I’ve learned how to cook and bake. I’ve met amazing people who I now call friends and I have even more goals that started because of my blog. Negatives? That I can’t avoid my very first posts. They’re dorky and I used an ungodly amount of exclamation points in my posts back then.

What do you find humorous?

Pretty much everything. This might be a good time to admit that I have giggled my way through many sermons. I also stand in the back of the room and pretend I’m Mary Katherine Gallagher from the movie “Superstar”if husband’s sermons get boring. I also have far too much fun for my own good trying other accents. I love how different, yet the same, we all are and find it a constant source of joy and connection.

Who in history do you admire the most?

I’m not sure I could choose just one but I do admire Mother Teresa and everyone who is more than just the sum of their words.

What is something that moves you to tears?

Like I said above, the list of things that make me teary is long but I cry when people are hurting and when they find what they need and I’m honored & humbled when I am present to witness that aha moment in between the two.

Do you feel like you are living out your calling?

Yes, I do and I get to live it out while making strawberry waffles. Is there any better way? I think not.

In your opinion what defines a real woman or man?   

A real person is one who loves everyone where they are at and they can do this because they have faced their own demons and they are open to growing forever & always. Removing their own road blocks to love makes it possible for them to think in terms of community by touching one life for the positive at a time. Without this, what else is there?

When you think of yourself as an elderly person, what do you see, what kind of person do you hope to become?

Peaceful, happy, wise, sharing and silly.

Deanna is making a name for herself and her gifts.  She recently was filmed with Joey Fatone cooking four recipe’s of her own for the show My Family Recipe Rocks on the Live Well Network.  Look for it coming Saturday,  October 27, 2012 at 9 pm and find out for yourself how talented she is.  Better yet, go and check out The Old Hen Bed & Breakfast and Recipe Blog at theoldhen.com

Staging Life

As someone who uses social media a majority of my time,  I have observed and learned a few things about people including myself.  We stage our life online.  We project an image to the world.  We post pictures, updated statuses, send out Tweets and all of it makes us look as though we have our lives in order.  Look at me I am a great person, I do the most awesome and amazing things.  Look at my life in all these pictures – see all the great fun I am having.  This is how we have come to live our lives.  What you see projected hopefully is close to the truth, but I know from my perspective, pride is the thing that causes me to do otherwise.

Growing up I never fit in, I was a social outcast, my family was poor and I was never going to fit into the world and community in which we lived.  I learned early on to fake it and pretend to be something I was not. I was not about to let others say anything worse than what was already said about me.  So I began projecting and presenting myself in ways that made me look like my life was together.  I was prideful.  I wore name brands, talked about music and movies as though I knew what I was talking about even though I didn’t actually see the movies or listen to the songs.

To look at me from the outside, many people have told me it looks like I am a terrific husband and father.  I have a nice house, family and am a selfless, giving person.  What has this done for me, it’s puffed me up.  My pride hears all these things I want to hear and I thrive off of it.  I continued to play out my life as though it was a beautiful story.   I want to be liked and accepted, it was these very things I hated not having as a child that I have craved most as an adult.

I put only the best pictures of my family and I online.  The ones I want folks to see that looks the best or the funniest.  I write from the perspective of a Dad who appears to teach and guide his children well, yet fail to mention the areas where I fail as a Dad and I lose it.  The times I have said things that have been harsh to my kids.  I write from the perspective of a man who’s been through a lot but seems to have it all figured out.  I have the answers you are looking for.  The fact is, it is because of my pride that I want only the good and very best parts of me to be seen.

I struggle, I fail, I fall on my face each and every day.  I hurt, use and treat others in ways I wish I hadn’t.  I mess up and make mistakes that are sometimes costly.  Yet most people don’t know this, because pride would say otherwise.  I allow my weaknesses to be overshadowed and present them in such a way you would never think anything wrong ever happens to me.

I can only go so far with my pride.  Eventually it will all come crashing down.  The walls and masks will be removed. I have been there before.  The ugliness of me will appear once again.  I am reminded of the phrase “Pride goes before the fall” or as in Obadiah 1:3-4 3 The pride of your heart has deceived you, you who live in the clefts of the rocks and make your home on the heights, you who say to yourself, ‘Who can bring me down to the ground?’ 4 Though you soar like the eagle and make your nest among the stars, from there I will bring you down,” declares the Lord.

Despite my attempts to live my life in a real way, I can so easily cross back over and allow pride to rule my life.  To allow this means I create a falsehood of who I really am.  The person God has intended for me to be.  I create something that may seem appealing to many, but in reality is not who you might see if you were to have full access into my life.  Pride robs others of knowing the real me.  If my life is busy being staged to be accepted I will never begin to know and understand what the real me is truly about.   God want the real me, he knows the real me and he loves me despite the images projected to the world.  Maybe I am the one who needs to believe and accept those things about myself too.

Teaching Idol Worship through Technology

I am at the age where I remember what it was like to go outside and play.  To build forts, hike, fish, camp and ride my bike everywhere.  A huge part of my time was spent outdoors and it was there where I learned to connect deeply with God.

We only had two channels on our television set and yet I watched a lot of it when I was not outside exploring the countryside.  I never gave much thought to technology; much of what we have today was something out of the Jetsons.  6^th grade brought about changes and part of that was computers.  That year I was paired up with another guy in my class and we were allotted 1 hour to get familiar with the computer.  I sat and watched as he entered in information that eventually created a rocket that shot up the screen.  From that point on computers began being a part of my life.  Cell phones later became a part of my life in my mid 30’s.

My kids don’t know a life any different.  Yet here I sit on the other side, in a place where much of what we know today began when I was still a kid and we have moved to a world where this is how we exist and operate in our lives.  Letter writing has been replaced by e-mails.  Talking to friend or loved one who lives far away can happen on my cell phone or on a web cam and most of the time does not involve long distance charges.

My generation is caught in the middle of all of this and we are a dying breed of people.  I remember what life was like prior to the technological explosion and I am smack in the middle of using it daily.  I use it just as much if not more than some of my kids.  I love technology and I very much want to have the latest products and gadgets.  When I see new ads or hear about what is coming out, I take notice and lock it in the back of my mind as something I may consider for the future.  The technology we can get our hands on today if for a fraction of the cost of what is used to be.

I watch as friends find creative ways to continue upgrading to the newest features.  I sit at work in meetings, observe all of us taking out our phones or tablets, and begin texting, playing games, Tweeting, or updating Facebook Statuses.  Little attention is rarely given to the person speaking.  We carry our devices everywhere with us, we keep them right beside us at work, and as we go about our day, we are continuing to use them in the same way.  If you go out to coffee or dinner with someone, the phone continues to be checked in the midst of the conversation.  Little kids are given electronic devices and are playing games to keep them occupied

I am guilty of doing these things.  I am guilty of getting up in the morning, reaching for my phone, and seeing what is going on in the world.  I go to work and throughout the day, I am using my phone to communicate while doing my job.  I come home and continue using my phone and computers until I go to bed.  As I think about it, I am saddened, because more than ever it seems as though technology has become our God.  The messages we are sending to our children is that these items are a necessity to go through life.  The way we communicate, interact, and do life together involves technology.

As we continue to move towards living a simpler life that frees us to connect with our community and neighbors, I feel I have given my kids the wrong messages.  The guilt of it weighs heavily on me.  I have been doing a lot of self-reflection in regards to how I engage with technology and the messages I am sending to my children We have been cautious about how much our kids spend time using technology and we have always put limits on things.  While I have tried to be consistent, I have failed and there have been times my kids have called me out on it.  It is fair and they have the right too.  If my actions do not match up with my words than I have a lot bigger issues to deal with.

It has always been my belief that anything more important than God becomes an idol.  If the devices I am using are the first thing, I am reaching out for in the morning that means God is not my priority.  If the things my kids see me using are constantly a part of my life, than I have failed to send the correct message. My family is more important than a thing.  God is more important than the things he created.

I continue to reevaluate the time I am spending.  The amount of time a device is on me or I am sitting in front of it.  When we are home as a family, devices need to be put away and we need to spend face-to-face time being with each other.  The newest gadgets are great to talk about, but I can’t act as though they are ever more important than my family.  While technology does make operating my life in this world easier, it isn’t God.  There is still so much I want to say to my kids and the years are quickly passing us by.  I want the memories they hold to be times spent together free from technology.  I want them to understand that God and people are always going to be more important than anything else is.  A huge part of my job is modeling to my children how to balance all of it.  While I can easily get caught up in all the hype of technology I need to make sure the messages I send are consistent with my words.

Changing, changing and changing

For some time now my heart has been heavy.  I’ve had a combination of decisions I needed to make and wasn’t sure what I should be doing.  The last month has been both a great time for me to be outdoors – exploring God’s creation as well as giving me time to think and to wrestle with how to move forward.

My wife and I have always been part of a traditional church.  It wasn’t what I grew up with, but shortly after we got married it has always been the model we have taken part in.  God has been increasingly challenging me on how I live out what I believe.  Time, energy and money invested in the lives of our neighborhood and community we live in.   Continuing to engage in the lives of other men who are put into my path.   In the last year I have become increasingly jaded in what I see the local church doing as opposed to how I believe it should look.  The Sunday after Easter my family and I began attending an intentional community in our neighborhood and since taking part it has dramatically shaped and changed how I view we live out the gospel.  The two main things it has brought to light in my own life is my inability to practice continual obedience and remain selfless.  Obedience is a word that remains heavy in my mind and one I return to daily.

A few weeks ago my wife and I went to see a financial planner.  In preparation he asked us to complete a couple of forms for him so he could get a snapshot of where we were at.  I am happy to say that he was a little bit more than impressed.  We were the only couple who he saw that day that did not have credit card debt and lived somewhat frugally.  He made some suggestions for us but overall was pleased with how we were managing our finances.  Shortly after the meeting I have wrestled with how we live, what we acquire and how we spend our money.  Living a life of simplicity continues to inspire and shape the way I view how I want to live my life.

One of my personal goals is to live to be 100 years old.  Most of the men on both sides of my family never make it close.  My paternal grandfather made it to his 70’s.  Women outlive the men in my family.  My maternal Grandmothers is currently 92 and lives on her own.  Her mother lived to be 92.  I come from healthy genetics, but I also know that I don’t do a lot to take care of myself.  Earlier this year I came down with shingles and was out for over a week and on 4 other occasions have been out sick.  I drink soda, eat fast food, have an office job and rarely exercise.  I am a big stocky guy.  When my 4^th was born I was close to 300 pounds and went on a weight loss program and got down to 220.  That was almost 10 years ago, since than I have gained back quite a bit.  I watch people talk about exercise and eating healthy and know that I need to get on board.

Writing, photography and connecting are some of the things I enjoy most in life. Social media has been a great outlet for me to combing all those things.  I have been fortunate to watch as connections have been established and relationships have grown through Twitter and blogging.  I have gone in bursts with writing, but ultimately it’s been more about connections for me.  There have been times when reading posts gets frustrating.  I’ve grown tired of self-promotions,  e-books and “How to Be Successful”.  There have been days where I could not find anything within me to be excited about one more persons post and/or Tweet.  I’ve gotten frustrated to the point of shutting it all down and disengaging again.  I realized it does not matter what others are doing.  I don’t need anyone to tell me how to do my thing.  I need to continue doing what I am doing.  I am good at the way I go about it.  Success can only be measured in my mind and frankly I don’t care about it.  I am going to do things the way I want to.  I’m going to be back to sharing my own experiences and continuing to engage and connect with folks.

As much as I try to keep God in the center of it all I haven’t done a good job.  My life and all I do, have to be centered on him.  I am a part of a larger story, I am a character in the story God is telling.  My life has meaning and purpose and it’s how I live it out that reflects my heart.  My heart needs to speak of better things – it needs to speak of the God sightings and happenings going on all around me each moment.

Who is @CowboyMinistry

Today you get to meet Kevin Weatherby.  A husband, father and an authentic modern-day Cowboy.  Kevin has a fire burning deep within him to impact the world.  He has recently published a book specifically designed for other Cowboys and Cowgirls.  The wording is in a different format, but the truth stays the same.  Not that it was planned, but today is also he and his wife’s anniversary.  Happy Anniversary to you both.  To find about more about this guy, read on…

Tell us about your family, who are they and where you call home?

I am married to Christie Weatherby and we have two kids: Daughter-Reilly (14 yrs) Son-Griffin (9 yrs). My wife grew up everywhere as a minister’s daughter and my kids have spent their lives in Coyanosa, Texas until moving to Kiowa, Colorado with our family in March of 2011.

How long have you been married?

Married for 8 years (today is their anniversary)

What is the one thing you love most about your Christine?

Her humor.

What would she say is the thing they love most about you?

Knowing who I am and what God wants me to do.

What has been the key/success to your marriage?

Love no matter what and know when to bring her chocolate.

What is one of your favorite things about being a parent?

I love it when the kids come to me with a question that they’ve never asked anyone else.

What is your current job/ what do you get paid to do?

I am the Safety Coordinator for Permian Pump and Supply, Inventory Manager for McCarty Equipment, and CEO and Executive Director of Save the Cowboy as well as Pastor of our local Cowboy Church Gathering…..whew!!

What are some other jobs you’ve had?  What was your very first job?  What lessons did you learn from it?

I’ve worked in the Prison System as a guard and worked as a ranch cowboy in West Texas and South Texas. Being a cowboy was my first job and these jobs paved the way for my cowboy ministry today.
I learned that life is hard…but worth it. I learned that you have to get back on when you get bucked off.
I learned that you can’t drown in your own sweat. Of all the jobs you’ve had, which job have you enjoyed the most.  Probably being a cowboy.

What do you do to relax?

I like to read, but I am a worker. I like to build stuff with my hands in order to close the door on all the responsibilities and chaos that life brings.

What hobbies/interests do you enjoy?

I like to play video games with my kids, work cattle, read, blog, and anything else “cowboy”.

What music/songs are you shuffling around on your playlists?

I like old Johnny Cash, Merle Haggard, Willie Nelson.

What books are on your nightstand?

Right now it’s The Last Jihad

How are you connected or involved in your community? 

We are right on the edge of what I call “big ranch” country. We are active in the local Livestock Association and other organizations where we can get to know folks in the Western Culture.

What things are you most passionate about?

Reaching cowboy and cowgirls with the Gospel message.

Not to put you in a box, but what words would define you as a person?

Willing…Real…Cowboy…Saved

Why did you get into blogging?  What is the response from folks when you share with them you are a blogger?

I used to email a cowboy devotional every morning to many in the congregation. When more people than you can email started wanting on the list, a friend showed me how to blog.
The cowboys and cowgirls that I try to reach will read what I write, but it’s hard to impress them and they don’t say much…even if you’ve published a book.

When it comes to social media, what is your purpose for using it?  What are the positives and negatives you have found using it? 

I use social media to spread the Gospel with original quotes, funny sayings, pictures, and articles.

The only negative is that it’s hard to form relationships that have meaning. People will “like” and retweet, but it’s not the same as sitting down and sharing a meal or holding someone’s hand that is hurting.

What do you find humorous?

When someone falls down (without getting seriously hurt of course).

Who in history do you admire the most?

I would probably have to say the Apostle Paul with Peter comin’ in a close second.

What is something that moves you to tears?

Raw emotion, or might I say, real emotion in whatever form it takes. The look of a newborn’s mother as she looks at her child for the first time. Pain when it cries out. Even the sound of true laughter can sometimes move me….I’m kind of a sappy cowboy.

Do you feel like you are living out your calling?

Absolutely!

When you look in the mirror what do you see?

A man that fails every day, but gets back on. Sometimes I don’t try my hardest, but I am willing to go anywhere and do anything to reach cowboys and cowgirls.

How has God transformed you the most?

I used to put myself first and foremost in every situation. My world revolved around me. Now, I have to think real hard about what I want when someone asks because I could really care less what I want.

In your opinion what defines a real man?  

The definition of a real man is: (C)ourage..(H)onesty..(R)espect..(I)ntergrity..(S)trength..(T)ruth which put together spells CHRIST.
Who helped to shape your ideas and opinions in this? Did your Dad or other key men play a key role in helping shape your identity as a man? 

My dad
What do you believe your kids have seen lived out most in you? 

They have seen me preach the Gospel unashamedly as well as apologize when I mess up. They’ve seen my willingness to give up everything for God.
When you think of yourself as an elderly man, what do you see, what kind of man do you hope to become?

I don’t care about success or accolades. I just want someone one day to say, “He was willing to try.” That refers to being the man God wants me to be.

Name two things on your bucket list?

I’d like to go to Israel and see my grandchildren ride a horse by themselves.

In the end when your life is over, what do you hope to be remembered for?

He had try.

Anything else you want to share or let people know?

Find what God wants you to do and do it with everything you’ve got.

Check out Kevin’s Website Campfire Cowboy Ministries here - www.campfirecowboyministries.com

Who is @eliwestfall

Today I am happy to share with you another interview I did with a guy I am more than pleased to call friend.  Eli Westfall and I connected over a year ago on Twitter and we continue to stay connected.  The one thing I learned fairly quickly with Eli is his ability to be transparent no matter what is going on.  What you get is what you see with him and it’s something I truly appreciate about him.  To find out more about this pretty cool dude, read on. . .

 

 

Tell us about your family?

I have one wife (Ronda) and 3 boys (Noah who is 7, Hayden who is 5, & Jagger who is almost 2); we have 2 dogs (a blue Weim and what we think is a treeing cur dog).

How long have you and Ronda been married?

Ronda and I got married on August 1, 1998.

What is the one thing you love most about Ronda?

Without a doubt the thing I love most about Ronda is that she never gives up on me. We have had some very rough times in our relationship and despite it all she has stuck by me. She has kicked me in the tail when I needed it, but her love has never wavered.

How would Ronda respond to that same question?

There are so many things for her to choose… But I would guess my wacky demeanor (fun way to say sense of humor) and my ‘go against the flow’ personality would probably rate high up there. Normally, I would cheat and just ask her but she’s out-of-town I know she is asleep so I can’t get a definitive answer at this moment… So let’s role with those.

You guys are about to celebrate 14 years of marriage, what do you believe has been the key to your marriage lasting so long?

Stubbornness. Neither one of us has been willing to really give up. Of course, keeping God at the center of the mix has probably been the thing that has saved us. We started our marriage saying we were never going to consider divorce as an option and we haven’t. Now, we’ve considered time a part as a reality check and the fear of losing all that is precious to me usually works as a failure deterrent. Without grounding any relationship on God, but especially a marriage, it won’t last. When the going has gotten tough we have always relied on God to carry us through.

I know that your 3 boys keep you busy, what do you enjoy most about being a Dad?

Watching my boys experience things for the first time. Seeing the look in their eyes as they climb that big rock the first time, or ride their bikes without training wheels, or hike a good way to enjoy a beautiful waterfall, or boogie board the first time, or score their first soccer goal, or anything do the first time. That look on their face can’t be matched by anything else.

In terms of a job, what are you doing that helps support your family?

Complex answer. Not really, but I like to make simple things hard. I am in the initial phase of support raising for the church attend, H2O Church-Orlando. It is associated with Great Commission Ministries and operates as a support-based missionary church in Orlando. I am raising support to come on staff and work with the family ministry. If anyone would like more info on how they can join our team, please feel free to contact me. I am attempting to complete a Master’s of Arts in Mental Health Counseling. I need to find the time for internships to complete it. My wife is an attorney who has her own small family law practice and she does contract work for a local firm doing foreclosure stuff. I work for my wife as her office assistant keeping her files and office stuff straightened out. I really like working with my wife. I hope to have the first step of my support raising done by the summer so that I can spend more time on ministry at our church as well as assist in the finances of our family.

Thinking back through your past work history, what other jobs have you held, what was your first and what lessons did you learn from that?

I’ve done tons of things over the years. I put us through undergrad and my wife halfway through law school waiting tables. I have worked for a total of 7 years in churches and another 4 as a Case Worker for Florida’s family and child services. My first job was at a furniture store working in the warehouse. The lesson that comes to the front of my mind is that I learned I love families. I love working with families and trying to build up and strengthen them. I’ve seen so much heartache in families, it’s time we start remind people the family is supposed to be a safe place.

Of all the jobs you’ve had, which job have you enjoyed the most.

Hands down ministry. And of all the churches I’ve been involved with, H2O Church-Orlando is by far the church that is most in tune with our goals/vision/passions/philosophy. 

What do you do to relax?

I run and drink Chai Tea. I used to consume mass amounts of coffee, but gave it up earlier this year.

What hobbies/interests do you enjoy?

I like to run, mountain bike, hike, camping, obtaining useless info about jeeps, motorcycles, soccer, and I really enjoy spending time with my family.

What music is shuffling around on your iPod/iTunes or Spotify?

I’m one of those dudes that gets stuck on music. I listen to Celldweller constantly. The Dreaming gets lots of play time. Stabbing Westward. I have gotten my two oldest boys into Skillet. Some of my favorite bands are: Gungor, Waterdeep, Linkin Park, Flyleaf, Fireflight, Evanescence, Switchfoot, NIN, White Zombie, Rage Against the Machine, the Stones, Simon & Garfunkel, Hendrix and the Monkees. Right now I’m listening the Sixpence None the Richer’s self-titled album… I would argue this is one of the best albums ever made. Ever.

Do you have any books on your nightstand?

None. But I have started reading, although it has been a while since I read any of them, Seth Godin’s Linchpin, a book called the Dragonfly Effect on how to use utilize social media to effect social change and a book in the Blackstone series on ethics called Batman and Philosophy.

How are you connected or involved in your community?

In order to give a truthful answer I have to say not really. Being more involved or doing more for the less fortunate around us is something Ronda and I constantly scold ourselves for not doing. We want to be more involved, we have just done a poor job of fitting it into our schedule. We often talk of how we need to get our boys involved in helping others so that a good foundation is set for them. Thanks for the motivation to effect change in my life… I feel like a loser having to answer that I’m not involved in my community. Recently, I coached soccer and was involved that way… Maybe I should go there again…

What things are you most passionate about?

My family. Families… Helping families to increase the number of tools in their toolbox so that they are better equipped to cope with life. I really like to preach, I like to write and Jesus, of course.

What words would define you as a person?

Out of the box. Insane. Dumb. Stubborn. Funny. Different. RiDQlous.

When it comes to social media, what is your purpose for using it?  What are the positives and negatives you have found using it?

To take over the world… No but seriously, to try to make a difference. To share my ideas, thoughts and experiences to help others. I use it to connect with people; I try to use it to build relationships. Positives are I’ve connected with people that I would have never had the chance to meet otherwise. One negative I noticed was a little while back I could tell you more about what was happening in the life of my digital friends than I could about the lives of the friends I see regularly. Another negative was it allowed me to become too preoccupied with my cell phone. I blame Twidroyd on Android OS for this. Notifications can come too frequently and obtrusively. I have since switched back to an iPhone and find it has a less invasive interface.

What causes you to bust out laughing?

Me. I think I’m humorous. My 5 year old is a riot. So I Married an Axe Murderer, Dumb & Dumber. I find that life in general is very humorous.

Who in history do you admire the most?

Billy the Kid and Han Solo.

What is something that moves you to tears?

I was moved to tears when I watched that movie the Company Men. It hit home for me and I associated with those feelings too much. I brought back feelings I didn’t want to feel. I cried.

Do you feel like you are living out your calling?

Yes. Without reservation or hesitation, I am doing what God has called me to.

What does the reflection in the mirror reveal to you?

A broken, tattered mess of a man that is gracefully covered by the blood of Christ.

How has God transformed you the most?

He is renewing my mind to a heart/mind that is after own. I struggle with some mental health issues that God is working his redemption story on right now.

In your opinion what defines a real man?  Who helped to shape your ideas and opinions in this? Did your Dad or other key men play a key role in helping shape your identity as a man?

A real man admits when he is wrong and loves unconditionally. A real man would give anything for those that need it. My dad, my father in-law and my friend and pastor at H2O Church-Orlando Jim were really the dudes that shaped what I think about manhood. They all 3 have played larger roles than they could ever know in shaping my identity as a man.

Name two things on your bucket list?

I don’t really have a bucket list but I have always wanted to hike the Grand Canyon and live in Paris.

In the end when your life is over, what do you hope to be remembered for?

Not failing. I want to be remembered as a good dad and husband who loved his family and dedicated his life to serving Christ.

There are two places you can check out Eli’s writing – his personal blog The Diary of God -  http://www.Eliwestfall.com – it is an exploration of how our roles support the bigger role of God in his story.

Or you can check out what he writes for his church blog - h2ochurchblog.com

 

 

Who is @mrajswoboda

Today I am happy to feature another fellow from our great city here in Portland.  A. J. Swoboda.  He has a great sense of humor and lives in an area my family and I lived in and love and plays one of my favorite games of all time – Settlers of Catan.  At the end of the interview you can find his blog and you should check out some of his posts.

 

Tell me a bit about background and family?

I have one wife (Quinn) and one baby human son (Elliot). I grew up in Keizer, Oregon. After ten years in Eugene doing ministry on the campus at the University of Oregon, we moved to Portland Oregon to begin a community in SE Portland.

How long have you and your wife been married?

We have been married for nearly 8 years.

What tops the list of things you love most about your wife?

She’s very Jesus-y.

How would she answer that question?

That I’m into the whole Jesus-y thing.

What has been the key to your marriage working?

Laughing at each other and the world a lot.

What is the one thing you love most about being a Dad?

When I get smiled at.

What is your current profession (the one that pays the bills)? 

I am a full-time professor teaching primarily at George Fox Evangelical Seminary and LIFE Pacific College. As well, I am a pastor of a church called Theophilus.

What other jobs have you held and what did you learn from them?  Which job have you enjoyed the most?

I used to work at Izzy’s but got tired of the pizza. After high school I ran a painting business. Then in college I made food in the dorms. Then in college, someone convinced me to try pastoring. I’ve been at it since. I learned over time that I could get tired of pizza, I didn’t like getting paint on my glasses, and the dorms are weird.

The one I have now. Pastoring and professoring.

What do you do to relax and kick back?

I relax by not doing how I answer when people ask me “what do you do?”

Reading, eating, movies, wife, baby, laughter, coffee. Other stuff too.

What are some of the artists shuffling around on your iPod?

The new Coldplay Album. And Bon Iver, no matter how you pronounce it.

What books are sitting upon your nightstand?

I don’t have a nightstand. But if I did, I am sure there would be some cool books on it. Right now I am reading a ton of missiology. Lots of Jurgen Moltmann.

How are you connected or involved in your community? 

I pastor it.

What things are you most passionate about?

Theology, justice, peace, truth, and smoked salmon.

What words would define you as a person?

Words can’t define me. But sarcastic is definitely one of them.

Why did you get into blogging?  What is the response from folks when you share with them you are a blogger?

Because I wanted to meet cool people like you. Typically people are cool with it.

When it comes to social media, what is your purpose for using it?  What are the positives and negatives you have found using it? 

People, again. I don’t like the endless gossip.

What do you find humorous?

Jim Gaffigan, people at the mall, and church.

Who in history do you admire the most?

Jesus of Nazareth. Although to be fair he transcends history too.

What is something that moves you to tears?

Evil, suffering, and onions.

Do you feel like you are living out your calling?

Parts of it.

When you look in the mirror what do you see?

Me.

How has God transformed you the most?

Teaching me to not be an only child.

Name two things on your bucket list?

Two things on my bucket list: a new bucket and resurrection body.

In the end when your life is over, what do you hope to be remembered for?

I want to be remembered for my love.

Anything else you want to share or let people know?

That’s enough for now.

Here’s a brief bio on A. J. – you can check out his website and blog at the end.

A. J. Swoboda (PhD – Birmingham, UK) started and serves the Theophilus church community with his wife, Quinn, in the Hawthorne District of Portland, Oregon (www.theophiluschurch.com). Before moving to Portland, he served as a campus pastor at the University of Oregon. Currently, he is a professor of biblical studies, theology, and Christian history at George Fox Evangelical Seminary, LIFE Pacific College, Canby Bible College, Eternity Bible College, the Episcopal Academy of Formation, and Concordia University. His creative doctoral research explored the never-ending relationship between the Holy Spirit and ecology. In the Spring of 2012, His popular book Messy: God Likes It That Way (Kregel) is due out. Similarly, his dissertation, Tongues and Trees: Towards a Green Pentecostal Pneumatology, will be released in 2012. A. J. plays with his son Elliot, writes, wails on guitars, runs (mostly treadmills), plays Settlers, reads, and has a predisposition towards movies with Kevin Spacey in them. His website and blog is found at http://www.ajswoboda.com