Leadership Moments – Feedback

As a leader, our job is to lead others.  We need to be sure in our abilities to lead others. We should always have a plan and be able to provide answers.  Leadership is not easy and it takes years of doing it to really refine yourself.  A really good leader has had others invest in them and provide them with guidance as well as feedback.

It is my belief that being a good leader means opening yourself up and soliciting feedback from others.  Asking those you supervise to provide you with feedback on how you are doing.  You can do this through surveys and other means, but I feel like the best way is to have a sit down conversation and see what they have to say.  I generally begin by explaining that I always want to do a better job in being able to support them and I would appreciate any feedback they could give me in regards to how I can do that.

The test is to sit and listen to what they have to say.  Allow them to share what they want without being defensive, argumentative or downplaying what they say to you.  It might be difficult for them to share, depending on the environment you are in or have created.  Hopefully you have created a safe place where they can talk with you honestly.  If they aren’t able to share, begin by asking questions such as “How do you think I do around communication, or when we are in meetings how do you feel like I am conveying the point or hearing what you have to say?”  Most of the time I find people are willing to share their thoughts.  Remember to always listen more than you speak and to thank them for what they shared.

Now that you have some feedback, it is your job to process this information – look for trends or patterns in your leadership style and make adjustments as needed.  The more you are able to accept feedback and really hear what people have to say, the more I believe it enhances your skills as a leader.  It helps you to understand your styles and approaches. It also creates a safe, communicative environment for those you lead and you don’t come across as being all about power and control, rather as someone who is fully invested in their role as a leader.

As a leader, how are you rating your leadership abilities?  How do you know if you’re hitting the mark or if you are missing it completely?  Are you able to read body language, attitudes and the environment?  How open do you make yourself available to really hearing what people have to say?  Have any of these questions ever crossed your mind?

Who is @taterhouse

Today’s profile is on Ryan Tate or as those in the Twittersphere know him @taterhouse.  I connected with Ryan over a year ago and I always find him to be a man of conviction and seeking to follow God.  As your read through the interview you will see his heart and passion.  Ryan has had some changes take place in his life in the last 6 months, a baby and a new job.  Find out more in the interview below.

Who makes up your family?

My wife, Kristen, and I have three kids: Ella (4.5), Benjamin (3), and Jadwin (5 months).

How long have you been married to Kristen?

We’ve been married for six and a half years.

What is the one thing you love most about your spouse?

She hates it when I say I love being married to her because she’s “fun” but it brings me absolute joy being married to her. We laugh, smile, play, eat brownies, and just have a great time together.

What would your spouse say is the thing they love most about you?

I think my wife really likes my butt, but she would never say that out loud. She would probably tell you she loves my leadership or some cheesy churchy answer like that.

For you and your wife, what has been the key to having success in your marriage?

Marriage is about the gospel. If you want to be a better husband, look at the cross. If you want to be a better wife, look at the cross. It all starts and ends with the gospel. The key to our marriage will always be Christ.

Also, never discuss anything important or try to resolve conflict when you are tired, hungry, or sick. It won’t be pretty.

When it comes to parenting, what do you love the most about it?

I love having an excuse to roll around on the floor again – but the best part has to be the little talks we have with our kids about Jesus and his rescue plan. It is amazing to see them grasp tiny glimpses of the gospel, like what it means to sacrifice, and then watch them reenact those aspects. That is the best.

What is your current paid profession?

I just started this March 2012 on full-time staff as an associate pastor at my church, Mosaic NEO (www.mosaicneo.com). I’ve always had a calling for full-time ministry, but I always thought that for me it included having a full-time job in the business world as well. God was continually pulling me out of my job over the past two years and His timing was perfect for me to quit and go full-time with Mosaic.

In regards to working and jobs, what have you done in the past, what was your very first job and were there any lessons did you learned from it?

Prior to going on staff at Mosaic I worked for seven years as a quality engineer. I still do some consulting and training on side for electronics manufacturing.

I had a roofing job one summer and have since decided to never go up on a roof again.

My first job was in construction during high school and I learned that the young kid picking up after the skilled workers is not an elegant position, but it’s just as important as anyone else.

Looking back at the jobs you have held, which one did you enjoy the most?

I really enjoyed my last job because of the people I worked with. But I have a feeling that this next season of my life is going to make me come alive in a way that I’ve never experienced before!

How do you go about relaxing?

Reading, writing, and playing with my kids are my favorite relaxation activities.

What hobbies/interests do you enjoy?

Most of my hobbies and interests revolve around sports.  I’m an old washed-up athlete who still enjoys playing basketball, baseball, softball, and football whenever he can. I also love to read, write, and play the guitar.

What music songs are you shuffling around on your iPod/iTunes or Spotify?

I am in love with Needtobreathe. I have a man crush on the entire band. I could listen to those guys sing all day long. I also listen a lot to Hillsong United, Dave Matthews Band, Adele, and Hootie and the Blowfish.  Who doesn’t love Hootie?

What books would we find sitting on your nightstand?

My wife and I just started reading Give them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Christ by Elyse Fitzpatrick. We love this book and it is already changing the way we interact with our kids. I’m also reading The Heart of the Story by Randy Frazee, and the Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd Jones is always on our nightstand (I like that bible more than my kids do!)

How are you connected or involved in your community?

My family and I gather with a community called Mosaic in northeast Ohio where I serve as an associate pastor.  I am only the second full-time staff that we have therefore I pick up the brunt of the administration, organization, and planning aspects. At Mosaic, everything we do is about declaring and demonstrating the gospel through relationships and discipleship. I help teach a discipleship foundation training called, Story-Formed Life. It is a 10 week narrative based training on the story of Scripture. My wife helps initiate discipleship through our kid’s and women’s ministries as well as helping me lead our missional community (aka small group).  I play the bass guitar and my wife sings on the worship team.

When it comes to having a passion for something, what would that be for you?

The Gospel, my family, discipleship, writing, baseball, and Cheez-Its…to name a few

What words would be used to define Ryan as a person?

Capable, constant, competitive, complacent (working on that one), captivated (by the gospel), and community (who I am is not just me, but a collection of those around me).

When it comes to social media, what is your purpose for using it?  What are the positives and negatives you have found using it?

Social media is a tool and I use it that way. I use it for relationship building, sharing, and encouraging others. I think the positives and the negatives are the same as in any relationships. Those things don’t change whether you’re using a computer, a telephone, or in a face-to-face conversation. Relationships can be messy, redundant, essential, abused, beautiful, and valuable. It’s important to evaluate our responses and our reactions when social media relationships exhibit any or all of those characteristics.

What tickles your funny bone?

I laugh at myself a lot.  Some of my favorite comedy is Brian Regan and Modern Family.

Looking back through history whom do you admire the most?

John the Baptist – he was in the business of preparing the way by making God’s name great and reducing himself as much as possible (John 3:30). I want to be in that business too.

What would move you to tears?

Stories. Compelling stories that display sacrifice, redemption, and grace. Like the story of the prodigal son or Schindler’s List. Those are the stories that don’t make sense outside of a belief in God.

Do you feel like you are living out your calling?

Yes, but only because I think the will of God for lives is much simpler than we try to make it out to be (1 Thessalonians 5:16-24).

When you look in the mirror what do you see?

G.K. Chesterton, when asked what was wrong with the world, said, “The problem with the world is me.” So, when I look in the mirror I need to see the worst sinner in the world (1 Timothy 1:15).

In what ways has God transformed you the most?

God is constantly transforming me through parenting and being a father. The relationships with my kids are the most formative and transforming for me as a husband, father, and man.

In your opinion what defines a real man?  Who helped to shape your ideas and opinions in this? Did your Dad or other key men play a key role in helping shape your identity as a man?

I am lucky to fall in line behind several humble men in my family tree. My father and grandfathers all taught me that humility is the key to greatness in the Kingdom of God. A real man is humble because being humble means being accurate about yourself and realizing who you are without Christ. I’ve had several key men in my life, too many to name them all, but I’m a product of these men working in my life.

Bucket list, what would I find on it?

Call me crazy, but I don’t have a bucket list. If I die before I accomplish some things it really wouldn’t bother me.

When your life is over, what do you hope to be remembered for?

I want my family to have a structure of generational discipleship where my grandkids and great grandkids will know what it means to be formed by the story of God because of my faith (Deuteronomy 11:18-21). I want to be remembered for my faith.

Anything else you want to share or let people know?

If you don’t find yourself in a great story, an epic story, you’ll be captured by a lesser one.

You can check out Ryan’s blog at The Compelling Parade: http://compellingparade.com

Leadership Moments – Constructive Feedback

Wrong, do over, ridiculous, incorrect, try again, not even close, what were you thinking – ever heard any of these phrases used on you at work?  I have in fact I have had supervisors who have made these statement to me in the past in regards to my performance or a task that I was given and it was left at that.  Where did that leave me, if left me wondering what exactly did they mean.

How about to high or low of expectations, you’re messed up, you stink, you are suffocating me, you are a jerk, and I have no faith or trust in you.  Ever had someone give you feedback like this with little to nothing more.  They just make these blanket statements and leave it at that.  I’ve had this happen as well and it to can be incredibly frustrating to discern what the person means in regards to statement like these.

A tool I have learned and try to always use when giving someone feedback is thinking about the issues you want to discuss with them.  Never address someone when you are angry, you response will be out of anger and you will defeat what you are want to do.  Decide for yourself what are the key points you want to discuss, keeping it to a minimum of 3.  Most people will get lost if you create a laundry list of items you want to discuss and begin to feel attacked.

I like to use what I refer to as the ‘feedback sandwich;’ start and end the discussion by focusing on positive things about the person.  I believe we should always seek to find something positive with everyone and in all situations.  There is always something we can learn ourselves.  We all have good things we do and having the opportunity to hear another person acknowledge that is refreshing.

Provide your constructive feedback along with specific examples in the middle. Rehearse what you want to say prior to talking with someone, maybe it’s going over it with a peer, or just polishing your approach.  Include examples of the issues you are talking about as opposed to making blanket statements as stated in the beginning.  The purpose for providing feedback is never to destroy them, but to provide them with an opportunity to hear what you have to say and allow them to respond.

I have found these principles to work well in talking with my employees as well as with friends or even family members when there is something that needs to be discussed.  Using this approach has allowed me the opportunity to have better discussions and gain a better understanding of where the person is coming from.  It also allows the person I am talking with to see that I see good things about them and I am not just focused on the negative.

What are some ways you have found successful in getting or receiving constructive feedback?

Who is @alexsuper_tramp

Today you get to find out more about a young man who has a lot of potential, passion and drive to live out his faith in a variety of ways.  Alex is someone I connected with through Twitter and we have had some really good discussions.  I am excited to see what happens in his life and all the God has in store for him.

Tell me about your family (parent, siblings)

I was born and raised in Utah for the most part.  My dad was in the military so at one point we lived in Texas for a few years.  My mom was seventeen when she had me and my biological father did not want me.  My mom and dad met at a Block Buster and my dad adopted me and they got married.  They ended up getting divorced which saddens me, but a lot of good has come out of it.  My step dad is an amazing guy and I love him a lot.

 

What are you most looking for in a wife?

The very first thing that I would want in a wife is a strong relationship with God.  This is very important to me.  I also want a wife who is beautiful in a way that is all her own; she doesn’t try to change her looks to impress others.  She accepts herself for who she is.  Being only eighteen, I have not had very many relationships, but one I remember quite clearly is a girl named Natalie in my sophomore year in high school.  She was free-spirited and very fun to be around.  I would always be on an adventure with her.  This has impacted me because I realize that I want a woman who knows how to have a good time even if it is just laying in the grass, holding hands and talking about life.

What are your plans after you graduate this year?

I want to go to Moody Bible institute after my high school graduation.  I want to obtain a pastoral degree and become a youth pastor someday.  I have had this desire for a few years now.  I’ve always felt that God was calling me to be a fisher of men and grow His kingdom.  In the past, I have wanted to be a marine biologist and a volcanologist.  Volcanoes and sea animals have always been an interest of mine.

Where are you currently employed, what other jobs have you done? 

I currently work at a McDonald’s near my home in Utah.  I work in the grill area.  I make sandwiches and cook the meat.  I have worked there for about 1 year.  It can be frustrating at times, but in the end, I love working there because my managers and co-workers are AMAZING!  They are all funny/quirky in their own way.  With so many personalities thrown together, it makes for an interestingly good time!

What are some other jobs you’ve had?  What was your very first job?  What lessons did you learn from it?

I have also worked at a call center called Focus.  This also happened to be my first job.  Customers would call me with problems about their Internet/phones, call to set up Internet/phones, or call to upgrade their current package, or to sign up with Verizon mobile.  At this job, I learned that customers can be mean!  I got yelled at least once a day.  I also learned that there are nice people out there who are patient with you.

Of all the jobs you’ve had, which job have you enjoyed the most.

Of the two jobs, I have had, I have enjoyed working at McDonald’s far more than my job at Focus.

What do you do to relax?

To relax, most of the time I listen to some tunes and/or read my Bible.  Reading God’s word has been very beneficial for me.  I often find verses that directly apply to what I’m going through without planning on it.

 

What hobbies/interests do you enjoy?

I enjoy reading very much.  I will pretty much read anything.  The genres I like most are historical fiction, fantasy, science fiction, and realistic fiction.  I also enjoy listening to music, hanging out with friends and snowboarding.  Snowboarding is the only sport I actively partake in.  So I am very excited when winter comes and I get to go snowboard.

What songs are the soundtracks to your life?

I will pretty much listen to anything except rap/hip hop, and country.  The only rap I listen to is Lecrae because his lyrics are legit.  I also enjoy hardcore, alternative, Indie, and Christian.  My favorite artists right now are Jack Johnson, David Crowder Band, Adele, The Beatles, Cage the Elephant, Mumford and Sons, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, and Flyleaf, just to name a few.

What books are on your nightstand?

On my nightstand right now I have: Everybody Want to go to Heaven, but Nobody Wants to Die by David Crowder and Mike Hogan; Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis; Tell All by Chuck Palahniuk; Crazy Love, Erasing Hell, and Forgotten God by Francis Chan; Revolution in World Missions by K.P. Yohannan; and finally, The Bible.

 

How are you connected or involved in your community?

To get connected with my community, I go to church and meet people.  Through my church, I have done a mission project to Salt Lake City every other year.  My youth pastor calls it S.L.U.M.P. or The Salt Lake Urban Mission Project.  We go to Salt Lake City and help in the shelters and the rescue mission.  We also go to Pioneer Park and hand out food and other stuff to the homeless.

My biggest passion I would say is for the homeless.  It breaks my heart to see God’s precious children in the situation that they are in.  I also have a passion for children.  Some of the situations that kids are thrown into break my heart.  Many kids will go hungry tonight because their parents cannot provide for them.  A lot of these kids are orphans.  How messed up is that?  When we Americans spend $14 billion on Valentines Day for gifts for our significant others!  There is this quote by Bob Pierce, the founder of World Vision that I often think about.  It says, “Let my heart be broken by the things that break the heart of God.”

What things are you most passionate about?

This one is a hard one.  I would have to say compassionate, heart for God, sometimes selfish, courageous, shy, hard-working, and hyper.

When it comes to social media, what is your purpose for using it?  What are the positives and negatives you have found using it?

When it comes to social media, I use twitter to meet people and get connected with others from around the world.  I use Facebook to keep in touch with friends and family both near and far away.

Some negatives, especially with twitter, is not being able to see these amazing people face to face and in person.  Another is not being able to tell if someone is being real with you. It’s a lot harder to tell how someone feels about you if you aren’t physically speaking with them.  Some positives would have to be staying in touch with family and friends who have moved away, getting to know new people, and getting to talk with others from around the world with different backgrounds, religions, and cultures that differ from mine.

What do you find humorous?

I find a lot of things humorous, but the things that get me cracking up most are my goofy friends.  They all have different personalities and different senses of humor, which throws in a nice variety of jokes and horsing around.

Whom in history do you admire the most?

I have two people from history that I admire highly.  The first person is Abraham Lincoln.  When he started out as President, he had no knowledge of how a war is fought or how it worked.  He studied and studied for hours and hours, often long into the night on war tactics and strategies.  It goes to show that with enough effort you can accomplish anything.  I also admire him for the work he did in trying to abolish slavery.  It goes to show that there were men and women out there during that time period that knew slavery was wrong and that it had to be stopped.  The second person I admire is Jesus Christ.  He came to earth to die a sinner’s death.  The death that both you and I should have died, so that we could forever be with Him.  There is no greater love than that.

What is something that moves you to tears?

When I was a kid, I had a best friend named Kaden.  His mom and my mom were best friends growing up, so we were pals from the get go.  We were only 15 days apart in age.  When We were in kindergarten, Kaden was diagnosed with brain cancer.  He battled it for seven or eight years.  He far exceeded his life expectancy according to the doctors.  On May 19, 2005, Kaden died from his cancer.  That was the most grief I had ever experienced in my entire life.  I remember weeping with my mom after she told me.  I look back now on all the memories that Kaden and I had shared and am thankful to God for those precious seven years I got to spend with the most amazing guy I have ever met.

Do you feel like you are living out your calling?

I feel like I am living out my calling.  God calls us to love him and to also love others.  I feel like I do this pretty well.  Even though it is hard sometimes, I am always reminded of how much God loves me and how I should reflect that love onto others.

When you look in the mirror what do you see?

When I look into the mirror, I see an eighteen-year-old man who is freaking out about life after high school.  How will I afford college, how will I get over my shyness and meet other people, how could any God-fearing girl love a man who has done some pretty horrible things?  But I also see a man who is confident that God has a plan not to harm him but to prosper him.

How has God transformed you the most?

God has transformed me the most through mission trips.  Seeing his people and all the hurt, pain and suffering they go through has really put into perspective how lucky I am.  How lucky I am to have a loving family, a house to protect me from the weather and a bed to sleep in.  He has led me to take some of my blessings and give them to others.

 

In your opinion what defines a real man?  Who helped to shape your ideas and opinions in this?  Did your Dad or other key men play a key role in helping shape your identity as a man?

In my opinion, what defines a real man is God-fearing, protector, provider, and is loving to his family, and not afraid to cry in front of his family or others.  I say not afraid to cry because men have always been portrayed as strong and never needing to cry.  When in reality men don’t have it all together all the time, and are afraid to reach out when they are in need because others might see them as “weak.”  My youth pastor, Brent, my step dad, Keith, and my dad, Martin, have helped me form these opinions.  Brent has always encouraged me to be the best that I can be in my walk with Christ.  He is always challenging me to get out of my comfort zone and try new things, which has also helped me with my shyness.  Keith has provided so much for my family and is always there when you need to talk or help on your math homework.  Martin has never been afraid to reach out in times of need.  He is never afraid to cry and has always been there for me.  I hope that my future kids see that I am a God-fearing man; respectful towards their mom and other women, and that I would always be there for them no matter what.  When I think of myself as an old man (which is really hard because it seems so far off), I see a man who was never afraid to take the road less traveled, always willing to do what God had commanded of him.  I want to become a man of purpose, serving God and his family.

Name two things on your bucket list?

Two things on my bucket list are: go skydiving and to see the curvature of the earth.

In the end when your life is over, what do you hope to be remembered for?

If I were to show up at my memorial service, I would hope that people would say I was funny, fun to be around, someone they could always talk to, God-fearing and loved my family.  I hope to be remembered for the last two and also to be remembered for helping others in times of need no matter who they were.

 

Here is the time for you to promote yourself – What is the name and web address of your blog?

You can check out his blog Saved by Grace, here —> http://alexhurst1110.wordpress.com

The drowned vice

This is the season of Lent and while I am not one to take part in it.  I did have a discussion with a friend  of mine who said he had given up coffee for Lent and that led into a great discussion about giving up things when God calls us to do it, but how do we really know hear his voice given all that we do, which drowns out his voice.

Look at the world we live in.  We live in one of the richest countries in the world.  Even when most of us say we have no money that isn’t really true.  Take a moment and put it in perspective.  How many times per week do you head to the nearest coffee shop to get something?  What about running to the convenience store to grab a pop (yes we in the PACNW call it pop, you might call it soda or Coke depending on the area you live in).  Just the ability to go and do those things means we have more money that some folks in a 3^rd world country.  We are incredibly blessed and probably to our detriment.

As I thought about my life and the vices I have I began to really consider what possibly do I need to give up to really hear the voice of God speaking to me.  While I don’t drink coffee, I do go to the convenience store right down the block from my office daily and grab a pop and a snack.  I have a smart phone that I carry everywhere with me so as not to miss out on anything including texting, instant messaging and updated my statuses.  There is not much I can’t do through my smart phone.  I have 3 computers and 2 laptops at my house that I can access anything and everything including watching music videos, movies and TV shows.  All the computers have iTunes, Spotify and Pandora on them so we can steam live music.

I went home and took a look around my house. I have shelves full of books and magazines, of which I sometimes read.  I have CD’s piled high of which I sometimes listen to. Lots of odds and ends, piles of clutter and junk we don’t need.  Shelves of games and cards that sometimes get played. I have a DVD and VCR at home to watch movies.  We have had Netflix streaming through our Wii to watch movies and TV shows and 2 large bookshelves at home filled with movies to entertain us.

We go out to eat, or have people over; there are always kids from the neighborhood at our house.  We have friends over and entertain; we hang out and talk, eat food and enjoy each other.  We go out with friends, meet up for food or drinks and spend time together.  If we are busy or running around there is a fast food place we can stop at to grab something to eat.  Even the church we attend is large and flashy; it has all the latest technology to keep everyone connected if we miss something on Sunday we can catch up through the internet.

In these things and all our stuff, so often they become more important than God.  God is the last thing we think of.  Are all these things bad?  No I don’t believe so, but what I do see is that we use all of these things, many of them luxuries to fill our time and in doing so; we lack spending time with God.  We are so busy hearing all these noises driven by all these vices we have that we are incredibly uncomfortable with silence.  We don’t really know what it means to just sit there and be still.

In all the business, how can we hear God speak to us, pour into us, guide and direct us?  In my case I look back at my life and see how guilty I am of my vices becoming idols.  I have had to come down with really horrible sicknesses for God to take me out and get my attention.  In all actuality this is no way to live.  God desires to be first in our life.  He should be the center of our lives and yet even that may be what we say with our mouths, our actions dictate otherwise.  In order for this to happen it has to become a practice.  While Lent is a good time for us to reflect on things, I also believe, it is something we should practice all the time and when we hear the voice of God asking us to give up something we should do it.

What things do you need to give up to hear God speak to you?

Moments in leadership – Accessibility

When someone has something they need to discuss with you, how accessible are you?  Is your head stuck in the computer?  Are you on the phone?  Are you away or always at a meeting?  When you are present in work place are you really listening or is your mind preoccupied with other things that need to be taken care of?  If we were to have a conversation right now, would you remember it in 30 minutes or even a day later?

Being in a position of leadership means we have a lot of responsibility put upon us.  You are required to multi-task as well as problem solve and keep everything together and flowing.  When issues arise you are the go to person.   The responsibility rests on your shoulders and you are held accountable when things fall apart.  As a rule when you are given more responsibility, more is asked of you and you are expected to be able to handle it.

When you supervise others it is important to make yourself accessible.  Staff should not have to fee like you are too busy to talk to them.  That creates an environment where staff does not feel comfortable talking with leadership.  It creates an unhealthy environment of power and control along with employees who do not feel valued, but rather as under appreciated and under valued.

I have worked for bosses before who I rarely ever saw and when I did, they showed little to know interest in me or my co-workers.  I’ve had bosses who walked passed me without even acknowledging me, let alone every saying thanks for the work I had done.  It was awkward to say the least and most of the time.  If something came up and I needed to talk to them, it was hard to approach them.  I felt like I was bothering them by asking to speak to them.  If I did go and speak to them, I didn’t get their full attention and on some occasions was told to come back later they were too busy.

Part of my role in leadership is setting up time to meet individually with each of my employees.  No phone calls, no responding to e-mails, no interruptions at all.  My time is their time and I am fully present and engaged in the conversation.  I listen and respond to what they are sharing and try to ask clarifying questions to make sure I understand where they are coming from.  Not only do I set aside time like this on a monthly basis, but daily I check in with all my staff and spend at least 15 – 20 minutes engaging in conversations with them around how they are doing.

Part of investing in my employees if making myself available to them.  I value my employees greatly and realize if I didn’t invest the time and energy into them, we would not be able to do the job we are doing.  My employees know that at any time they can come and talk to me about anything.  If I am busy at that moment I let them know I will get back with them shortly.

As someone in position of authority, are you accessible?

Who is @JonathanPearson

Today I am sharing with you my interview with Jonathan, if you have ever had the chance to interact with him, you will find out he is a very cool guy.  He writes with a lot of passion and has a good sense of humor.  He was gracious enough to take some time and answer my questions for me and today I am pleased to be able to share that with you.

 

Talk about your relationship with your wife?

My wife and I Melissa live in Orangeburg SC. We don’t have any children yet, but we do like acting like kids ourselves. My wife is my best friend. That’s the thing that makes our marriage special; we’re best friends and know how to have a good time. We talk, we laugh, we cry together and love every minute of it.

What is your current profession?

I’m the Communications Pastor at Cornerstone Community Church in Orangeburg SC. Communications Pastor really means I do anything that communicates the church to others. I’m the Online Campus Pastor as well. I love what I get to do. It’s a creative and fairly new way to ‘do ministry.’

I’m also the Assistant Director of The Sticks. The Sticks is an organization that helps inspire and teach small city pastors and leaders.

What do are some of your favorite things to do when you have down time? Do you have any hobbies?

I love sports. College football, MLB baseball, NFL football are all hobbies of mine. I also enjoy social media and working out.

What tickles your funny bone?

Anything! Love to laugh.

In regards to what God has called you to do, do you feel like you are living out that calling?

Absolutely. Everyday. I’m a communicator and lover of Jesus. What I do gives me a chance to do all of those things.

How has God transformed you the most?

He’s turned me from a religious person to a Christ follower. It’s not about what I do and don’t do, it’s about my love for Him and my willingness to walk that out.

Your definition of what it means to be a real man?  Who helped shape your thoughts around this? Did your Dad or other key men play a key role in helping shape your identity as a man?

My Dad played a large role in who I am. I was blessed to be raised by a loving mother and father. My Dad showed me what it means to support a family and work hard. He showed me that a real man loves, works, and plays hard.

When all is said and done, what do you hope to be remembered for?

I want to be known as someone who reshaped the world… who pushed the status… not just to be different, but to be effective in reaching the world. I want to be known as a world changer…

You can go check out his blog JonathanPearson.net here, just click on the link http://jonathanpearson.net/

Leadership Moments – Laughter

One of the things I believe I need to have a part of each and every day is laughter.  Being able to laugh at something during my day that sweet spot in the day.  It’s like being able to have a piece of your favorite candy.

Much of what we do as adults requires us to be serious and focus.  We are deadline oriented, agenda and outcome driven.  We measure successes in a variety of ways.  When things don’t go the way we planned or the outcome isn’t what we had desired, often times that can be incredibly frustrating.  The mood can quickly change and we go from enjoying the day to dreading it.

One thing I learned early on was,  no matter what the job is, we have a choice about our attitude.  Being able to find something you can laugh at be it yourself, an event, interaction or mistake.  No one is perfect and while we should strive to do our very best in all that we do.  We also need to recognize our humanness.

As a boss I enjoy having fun, laughing and joking around with my staff.  Creating an environment where my staff know there is a line not to be crossed.  I am still the boss, but that we are a team working together.  We all get compensated to do different tasks and the expectation is they do what I am paying them to do.  Within that structure there is a lot of room to create a fun and enjoyable working environment.  Having an environment where you can laugh, tell jokes and relax leads to more productive staff and a better outcome over all.

I have worked for bosses who are so task oriented, driven by their perfectionism and all they cared about was the bottom line.  They didn’t care about the people who worked for them. They were dictators who never smiled and acted as if they didn’t enjoy their job.  I am pretty sure the job is what they believed define them as a person.

What type of environment do you thrive in and how much is laughter valued in your job.

Who is @dlrayburn

Today I am pleased to be able to share with you the interview I did with Dusty Rayburn or as he is known in the Twitter world @dlrayburn.  The one thing I knew right away and could sense about him, was his humble character.  The other thing in reading his blog is his heart.  I have been thankful to interact with him over time and always enjoy the conversations we have.  If you aren’t following him or reading his blog I encourage you to do so at the end of this interview.

Please share with us about your family and a little bit about your backgrounds?

I am married to Julie, my best friend and the woman God set aside for me. We are further blessed with Anna, our spunky five-year old daughter.
My wife and I come from very different backgrounds. I was raised as a ‘missionary kid’ in Mexico where my family served for twelve years moving frequently. My wife, on the other hand, was not raised around church and spent her entire life in the Birmingham, Alabama area.

How long have you been married?

This month we will be blessed by celebrating 7 years of being married.

Name one of the top things you love most about your wife?

It’s hard to narrow down to just one thing, but I would have to say her passion. My wife holds strongly to her beliefs and ideals. She is not easily moved or shaken.

What do you think your wife’s response to that question would be?

My steadiness and witness.

For both of you what do you believe to be the key(s) to having a successful marriage?

At the risk of sounding spiritual: Jesus. He is the One who keeps us moving and working together as we deal with this life’s battles.

Your favorite things about being a parent?

I think it is getting love from my girl. My whole day is changed when she wraps her arms around e and tells me, “I love you, Daddy.”

What is your current paid profession?

I work for a small Benefit Fund that manages Pensions and Health Insurance for participating union employers. My official title is “Benefits Manager/IT Director/Privacy and Security Office”. Basically I maintain all of our different health insurance plans, compliance with government privacy and health regulations, and our IT solutions. I also serve as the Spanish translator/interpreter for those participants who need it.

Other jobs you have held, what was your first and what lessons did you take away?

My very first job was in high school as a landscaper/handyman working for an established company. I learned there is a lot of sweat behind every dollar made. I also worked as a cashier at McDonald’s.

In college, I went to work for Maytag (yep, I was the repair man). Upon graduation, I had trouble finding a job, but finally went to work for WMU, a Christian Mission publishing company, starting as a Bi-lingual Customer Service Rep and eventually working my way up to Magazine Subscription Specialist and Fulfillment Manager.

I have also served as interim pastor, youth minister, and music minister at three churches.

Thinking back over your jobs, which have you enjoyed the most?

I enjoyed my years at WMU. There was a lot of stress and troubling personalities, but all in all, it was a great job with some great people. I have had the opportunity of writing for their leadership publication since leaving there and am blessed to have many friends who are still there.

When it comes to finding time to relax, what do you do?

I love to travel and spend time with my family. I am an avid reader.

What hobbies/interests do you enjoy?

I’m a nerd/tech geek. I beta test software and do custom PC builds. I also fly RC helicopters.

What music/songs are you shuffling around on your iPod/iTunes or Spotify?

My wife and I both enjoy 80′s rock, so there is a good bit of that in my playlists… Some of my top Christian artists would be Phillips, Craig, and Dean, Mylon LeFevre, and Matthew West. On occasion you might find me listening to symphony music.

If we were to look at your nightstand what books would we find?

Right now I am reading Book of Lies by Brad Meltzer and just finished Mere Christianity.

In what ways are you connected or involved in your community?

I serve as a deacon in my local church where I also sing in the choir, teach short-term Bible studies, and participate in community outreach programs.

Deep down inside what are you passionate about?

Serving God and my family.

Never to be defined or put in a box, what words define you?

Imperfect. Strong-willed. And my continuous hope: One of Christ’s Own.

Why did you get into blogging?  What is the response from folks when you share with them you are a blogger?

I entered into blogging as a daily journal and an accountability method to keep me in the Word of God.
Most people are curious about it and some will even stop by to visit on occasion.

When it comes to social media, what is your purpose for using it?  What are the positives and negatives you have found using it? 

Social media is a means to extend my reach beyond my normal circles. It has allowed me to meet some great men and women of God. It’s also a means to track tech/software innovations and company promotions. Unfortunately, it is real easy to be fake in social media. I would also caution people to be careful what they share and who they add to their networks because there are people out there are predators out there.

What makes you laugh?

People. One of my favorite comedians is Bill Engvall.

Throughout history who do you admire the most?

I’m not much of a secular history buff, and a name on that front escapes me. On a Biblical front, I would say Jesus, Paul, Peter, and Abraham.

What is something that moves you to tears?

Seeing families respond to the Holy Spirit.
Seeing the underdog’s win (I need a box of Kleenex to watch Rocky, or Mighty Ducks).

Do you feel like you are living out your calling?

For this day, I do. There is no telling what tomorrow may bring though.

When you look in the mirror what do you see?

A pudgy, mid thirties, child of God. A work in progress.

How has God transformed you the most?

He is moving my focus from self to Christ. Before Him, everything was about me and what I wanted. Now, I strive daily to be about Him.

In your opinion what defines a real man?   Who helped to shape your ideas and opinions in this? Did your Dad or other key men play a key role in helping shape your identity as a man? What do you hope your kids will see that was lived out most in you? When you think of yourself as an elderly man, what do you see, what kind of man do you hope to become?

A real man is defined by God. Nothing else lasts or measures up. If we line up with God and follow Him, then and only then will we be what He intended us to ‘really’ be. Pastors, teachers, and God’s Word are the key players for me. I hope Anna and others will see Jesus in me. I want to be a man after God’s own heart.

Name two things on your bucket list?

See Anna commit her life to Christ.
Meet several of my blogging community.

In the end when your life is over, what do you hope to be remembered for?

My commitment and service to God.

Anything else you want to share or let people know?

I am not now nor have I ever been, perfect. My God is perfect and I am in the process of being perfected by Him with every breath I breathe.

Check out his blog - Reflections on the Life of a Christian – http://rlcblog.com/

Answers to be found

As an adult I have whole heartedly tried to pursue God.  I have dug into scripture over and over and can tell you a fair amount of it.  I have done all the practices a mature Christian is supposed to implement in their walk.  What I am discovering as I get older is that many of the things I have come up against in life aren’t addressed in scripture and there isn’t a book for dummies written about it.

While the Bible is filled with an abundance of principles on most any topic, it doesn’t always speak to what I have experienced nor what a lot of my friends have gone through in their life.  Trusting in God, praying to him and leaving it in his hands is easier said than done.  The cliché’s that have been passed around fail, while good intentioned really are more of a source of frustration.

I have seen folks begin a relationship with God and watched as strongholds they had in their life faded away.  What had once held them back they was no longer an issue.  I have seen other believers go through very difficult times and call out to God and there lives are forever changed.   God has definitely been at work in my life and so much has changed, so I clearly cannot deny he’s at work in me.

Personally I’ve never had those type of moments where God removed something from me after a prayer or even in my darkest times had a life changing event.  I would say in my walk with God while he has been consistent and I have strayed, none of that has been part of this relationship.

I feel the older I get, in some regards I am becoming jaded and maybe that’s the wrong term to use, but being someone who is grounded in both the word of God and in the reality of living, I often find it difficult not to do the work myself to make the changes I see as character deficits within myself.  Resting and waiting on God does not equal  being lazy and apathetic, we must push on and know that through each circumstance and trial God is using those to change us.

As a child growing up, I somehow got it in my head that there were answers to all of life’s problems.  If I didn’t have the answer I could go to my parents, aunts and uncles or grandparents for one.  I could even ask my teachers and when it came to questions about God, either the Pastor or a Sunday School teacher seemed to be able to provide me with answers.  Never once as a young person growing up, did I ever hear, I don’t know.  Someone always had an answer for me.

So what happens if you are a control freak, an addict or abuser? You genuinely and honestly pray to God and ask him to remove those things from yourself, yet try as you might to stop, you go back to them.  What happens when you fast, pray, confess and ask forgiveness and you still return to those things.  You understand with everything inside of you how much better life would be if you were free from them, but it just doesn’t happen.  What then?

I believe part of this answer lies within our brothers and sisters.  While we may not have the answers to these questions, I think talking openly and honestly about them is a way in which God can work through them. I find honesty in our walk with God so refreshing.  I respect people more when they are honest about their feelings around their belief in God. I am more respectful of someone who is willing to be honest and transparent than someone who acts like they have the answers.  Even Pastors and great men of faith do not have all the answer to the questions.

What do you do when you come up against something you can find no answer to, how do you deal with sins you return to, yet wish you didn’t?